Healing from emotional pain

At any age – we have all been through a thing or two. I wanted to blog about how to get your Mojo back or six steps to feeling better about a difficult situation, but realistically, I couldn’t blog simple steps when I personally and professionally know how incredibly hard a thing it is to try and just get over it. What is it? It is being betrayed by your nearest and dearest, it is suffering a job loss, losing belief in a dream, losing a friend or loved one whether to death or the relationship ending. It is the challenge trusting and forming close relationships after trauma. Whether it be that you have been injured or hurt in a crime, or injured or hurt by being raised in a toxic household or by toxic people. It is any number of things that can make you feel like you can’t cope, and don’t know when you will be able to fully cope again.

Realistically speaking, we have all been through it, and if we haven’t we will soon go through it. So enjoy while you can. Everyone, unless they live an extremely short amount of time, will lose a loved one. Whether it be a grandparent, parent, a friend, maybe even a beloved professor or other teacher or adviser. Everyone will some day have a broken heart.  There is nothing but time and coming to terms within yourself with what has happened, that will heal such loses. But coming to terms emotionally,coping, all of this takes a tremendous amount of time, and effort, and often professional help. So how can you feel safe, or better while you are dealing with it all?

The only way to possibly feel any bit better is to take extremely good care of yourself while you are on your way processing and healing.

-Try to keep friends and loved ones close. Express how you are feeling to them, allow yourself to be supported as much as possible.

-Start walking regularly, this is helpful because any form of exercise triggers your body to release chemicals that make you feel better, it can also keep you connected to the outdoors and nature can be soothing for many. If there isn’t much in terms of greenery outside your front door, do it anyway. The sun, the air and the sky are literally good for your body and can help you physically and mentally.

-Remind yourself that it takes time for you to truly heal from any form of emotional pain, loss or trauma, and the amount of time varies from person to person, from situation to situation and that it is okay not to bounce back as quickly as anyone expects you to. Let yourself make mistakes and go as slowly as you feel you need to along the way. Don’t be rushed by anyone.

-Give yourself a manicure or a pedicure, or both. You can go to the nail salon and get this done or do it at home both have the benefit of taking care of your body and paying attention to your feelings.

-Start journaling about what you are dealing with and how you are feeling. This is a straightforward and simple way to begin to release and process your feelings about the issues you’re dealing with. This can work wonders for helping you in your process. It is worth it.

-Get professional help. Find a therapist that you can speak freely to and that you feel comfortable with. If you have tried a therapist in the past and it didn’t work, try again. If you are in an unsatisfying therapeutic relationship, find a new therapist. Shop around. Consider group therapy regarding what you are dealing with. Therapy groups can connect you to others that are in your shoes and are dealing with exactly what you are dealing with.

Now you might ask yourself, how can any of these things help me while I am in such dire pain? It wont heal those wounds, but it will help you feel more cared for and loved and help you be able to heal.

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October

When the month of October roles in, it usually feels like the first reminder that fall is really here. Cool air, falling leaves, green, yellow, red and brown everywhere we look because of the changing weather. A period of seasonal transition. For many in the helping professions, October represents Domestic Violence Awareness month. And its a time to consider the stark reality that in the US our country has a domestic violence awareness rate of 1 in 4 women is a victim of domestic violence within her lifetime.

Few victims will ever expose themselves as a victim to their friends, family, or loved ones. Few victims recognize themselves as victims. Part of what keeps someone in the position of being abused is the shame that comes with being considered a victim. This shame prevent s people from speaking up and prevents others from asking questions. Its likely that the only one who knows for sure that someone is being battered is the batterer and the person being battered. Over one million women are abused in their relationship every year. And 85% of domestic violence victims are women and 15% are men. Women are most likely abused by someone they are involved with when they are between the ages of 20-24. Men are also abused by their partners and have trouble reaching out because of additional shame they may feel about being battered.

October 17th is “Purple Day” this year. Wear purple to bring awareness to domestic violence  and in support of those that aren’t able to speak out for themselves.

http://www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet%28National%29.pdf

http://www.americanbar.org/groups/domestic_violence/resources/statistics.html